The Adventures of Blue Team
by Teenage Mexican Master Chief
Summary: The adventures of Blue Team as they take down the rebel forces and deal with John's shenanigans. OOCness is abound. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Here they were, the legendary Blue Team, surrounded by rebel forces. However, one was missing, the hero himself. John took stock of the enemy, noting the armor-piercing rounds, his team could be in real trouble. He does the only thing he could think of, throw a random innocent space emu at them. The bird squawked in surprise and struggles futilely as John wrapped his large arms around the bird. He moved as stealthily as one could with a large struggling space emu held captive in their arms.

He climbed up a few large crates, which held his weight rather impressively, and threw the panicking bird. The rebels jump back in shock and emptied their clips into the poor moa.

The rest of Blue team took advantage of the momentary distraction and escaped. What idiots of them to waste all that ammunition on one bird. Lucky for Blue Team though.

John caught up to his team, who found a Rockethog. Since the seats were all filled, and he would be damned if he were sitting on Sam's lap again, he leapt onto the hood of the hog scaring the hell out of Kelly who was driving. She swerved around a curve, almost crashing. "Hi John." Linda yells cheerfully from behind the turret.

"DAMMIT JOHN!" Kelly screams, almost flipping the hog.

John grips the sides of the hood, his back against the center of the windshield. A few minutes pass, the team rode in silence, thinking about the plan; except Linda who was humming loudly to herself. A few more minutes pass, when Linda suddenly hits the brakes. John yelps as he's flung off and sent flying in the bushes.

They finally made it to their destination. The Spartans jump out of the hog and crouch low and begin taking out the security with ease. John stumbles out of the bushes and sees his teammates ready in their positions. They all winked the green light, John winked his back. The team moved stealthily over the bodies, making their way through the old base, splitting up.

John takes a maze like path. The further he went the more bored he become. He thought about how he could have been a math teacher if he had a normal life, the quickly thought against, because being a spartan is way cooler. Who doesn't love suicide missions? He wondered what the rebel leader looked like; he imagined him to have a braided goatee, eye studded eye patch, and a gold chain, with of course a pink leather jacket. Laughing at his thoughts, he shakes his head.

A rebel heard his laughter, " Whose there?" The genius asks, training his rifle on the corner.

" Your mother." John replies in his low gravely voice.

"Show yourself!" He shouts.

John climbs into one of the numerous crates that littered the corridor and puts the lid on, sealing him inside. He scoots it along, squinting through the small hole in the crate. He gets it just around the corner then stops. He continues to bump forward unnoticed. The oblivious man walks slowly towards the crate, rifle aimed at it.

"I could of swore that wasn't there a moment ago." He mumbles to himself. The man was skinny, clad in an old outdated uniform, he sat on top of the crate.

John throws the lid off, the man going with it in the process, landing in a small heap. John snickers at the surprised look on the rebel's face.

"Oh shit a spar-!" He begins to shout, John knocks him out and throws him over his shoulder.

"Yes Jimmy...a spartan." John whispers.

John meets up with his other squadmates, they look over the ledge they're perched on to see the leader of the rebel forces.

"John, Why do you have that rebel?" Kelly asks, irritation creeping into her voice.

" Uh...interrogation?" John answers and shrugs sheepishly.

"We're suppose to capture the Rebel Leader and interrogate HIM!" Kelly growls.

" Calm down Kelly, we're gonna get him. He's right below us." Sam whispers over the comm.

"Okay. Everyone get in their positions, we're gonna take this guy down." Linda says cheerfully before slinking off.

A few moments later all four Spartans were in position. 4 green lights blinked, all is go.

They all leapt into action, Kelly taking her anger out on the body guards and beating them to a literal pulp, Sam stunning the leader, Linda picking off all the oncoming reinforcements. John screams on his way down, startling the cigar out of the leader's mouth ( how he kept it in his mouth while being apprehended by a spartan is unknown, but damn good skill).

He lands right in front of him, posing in an intimidating stance.

"You don't scare me! I'm not tellin' ya anything!" The rebel leader yells. John bitch slaps him across the face, blood spraying from the man's mouth and nose, he slumps forward.

"Great! Now what?" Kelly shouts, her hands balled in fists at her side.

" Well we were going to take him as prisoner anyways." Linda shrugs.

" I'll go get the hog." Sam sighs in resignation and walks out to get said vehicle.

" I got you covered Sam." Linda says in her always cheerful voice. She crouches and looks down her scope, scanning the area for enemies.

John calls command " Mission accomplished, we apprehended the rebel leader and are bringing him in for interrogation."

"Good work spartan, report to evac zone, over and out."

John cuts the link and snickers. He walks over to a large metal crate and picks up 'Jimmy'.

Kelly whirls around, he eyes almost popping out of her skull. " WHY IS HE NOT DEAD?!" She screeches.

"interrogation." John says simply, giving a slight shrug. Poor rebel kid...

A few minutes later Sam shows up in with the warthog. He honks the horn " Alright Spartans let's move!" He shouts from the drive's seat. Kelly stomps towards the hog, John zooms past her with Jimmy in tow and jumps into the passenger seat shouting " SHOTGUN!"

"JOHN! ARE YOU FORGETTING SOMETHING?!" Kelly screams in rage. John shakes his head.

"Hey John, why don't you get the rebel leader and let Kelly sit shotgun before she hear head explodes." Sam says trying in vain to keep some sort of peace.

John sighs and begrudgingly gets out of the hog, setting Jimmy on the ground. He jogs past Kelly, snatches the unconscious man up, then dashes back to his waiting team. Of course there wasn't anymore room for him, let alone two unconscious men.  
So John, using his brilliant common sense, sets off to get the hog they rode to this base. He sprints there, mowing down the innocent ferns with his heavy footsteps, he arrives 30 seconds later. Why didn't Sam get this one? He wonders, then shrugs it off. He jumps into the driver seat, starts the engine and drives back to the two prisoners and Spartans.

He gets back out, picks up the men with ease, and sets the rebel leader down first then puts Jimmy in his lap. He buckles them in and reenters the vehicle. Sam goes ahead of John, leading the way to evac. John barrels towards Sam's hog and rams into the back. "GOD DAMMIT JOHN!" Kelly roars from the passenger seat.

John just honks his horn merrily as he passes them and waves. He leaves them in a trail of dust.

"I'm going to fucking knock some sense into his head." Kelly yells, boiling in her fury. Sam and Linda let her be.

Not long after that they all made it to the evac zone where a pelican was waiting for their arrival. John was waiting for them, having already loaded up his two prisoners. His teammates abandon their hog. Kelly storms up to him, fist poised to strike " What is wrong with you?" She yells.

"Nothing Kelly." John answers simply.

"Nothing huh? Well you need to get your head checked and right before the next mission. I want to see you in the training room after the evening meal!" She growls, and enters the pelican.

The three looked at each other then enter the pelican in silence. A few moments later they were in the air heading back to the ship.

A/N: Thank you for reading! This is my first story, so the more I write the better it should be. That's the theory anyway. Please leave a review, constructive criticism is always welcome. Thanks again!


	2. Chapter 2

A few hours after their return from the mission, Blue Team assembled in the training room, ready for the show. Kelly walks in, eyeing the room for John, she growls in annoyance when she didn't see him.

She turns to Sam " Where is he?"

Sam returns her intense gaze " Interrogating the rebels." he says, an irritated edge in his voice.

Kelly huffs and turns away, she sits in a nearby chair, waiting impatiently.

"Lighten up Kelly, we bagged the guy, and if you're still pissed at John get over it. The whole 'bumper car' thing earlier kinda ticked me off too, but we're a team...family, we need to stick together instead of at each other's throats." Sam crosses his arms, gauging her reaction.

She huffs again and crosses her arms " Yeah." she replies simply, her expression turning sour.

"C'mon Kelly cheer up. While we're all here we might as well train." Linda suggests happily.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"I'm not tellin' ya anything!" The rebel leader screams while thrashing in his bonds.

"Leo this is your last chance." The agent warns.

"Fuck you!" Leo yells and spits at the man.

The agent smirks and signals for the them to send in the Chief. A moment later the door opens with a hiss and slides into the walls. John steps into the small windowless metal room. He immediately sees the table, the prisoner, the agent and the two ODST body guards. The agent nods his head and walks out, the two body guards following after him. John sets down a small radio on the metal table. He sits down in the chair opposite from Leo, it groans under the weight.

"What?" Leo shouts after a few minutes of silence.

John just sits there and stares wordlessly.

"Aren't you gonna ask me somethin'?" Leo asks gruffly.

"What's that radio for?" He demands after about ten minutes of silence.

John continues to stare, well that's what Leo thinks thanks to John's polarized face plate. John holds back a snicker as the man grows even more distraught over his silence.

"Hey tin man are you just gonna stare at me?" Leo growls.

John sits there motionless, thinking about the other rebel he dubbed as Jimmy, wondering if he could take him on missions. He smirks, holding in his laughter, of course he couldn't take Jimmy on a mission, Jimmy wasn't a spartan like him. Kelly was pretty mad at him this mission. Maybe she just needs some cheering up!

Thirty minutes pass, an Leo began to grow even more restless. "HEY! TIN MAN!" He shouts loudly, bringing John out of his thoughts.

Feeling stiff he finally gets up and stretches, then switches on the radio to late 20th century disco.

Leo scrunched his face " What is THAT?"

John starts to dance and sing along "We're no strangers to love, you know the rules and so do I!" John points at Leo then himself. He then starts swaying side to side, getting more into the beat, sways his hips, bobbing his head. He plants one foot and spins around with liquid grace.

"Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you, never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie and hurt you." he sings in sync with the chorus, while wriggling his whole body.

Leo sat stiff, eyes wide, and damn well scared. " SOMEONE GET ME THE HELL AWAY FROM THIS LOON!" He screams, while hopping his chair backwards. John continues on ignoring the man's reaction.

"I'll tell you anything you want! Just get me away from him!" Leo screams over the music in desperation.

John quickly turns off the radio and sits back down in the chair as if nothing happened.

The agent comes back in a few moments later, nodding at John, " I don't know how you do it, but you're the best we have."

"Thank you sir." John says, already standing, then leaves the room with the small radio tucked under his arm. He heads to the armory and gets his armor taken off.

Now off to the training room.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

A few minutes later he arrives at the training room, where Kelly, Sam, and Linda were sparing.

Kelly was the first to notice John's entrance and slams Sam on his back. " You and me on the mat now!." She orders and points down at the mat for emphasis.

John wordlessly walks over to the mat, they didn't really need it, however it was nice.

"Hi John." Linda waves happily with her free hand, while helping Sam to his feet.

He nods at Linda, then suddenly Kelly throws a punch directed towards his face, he catches it and twists her arm. She throw a punch with the other, he catches this too, she kicked his shin hard. He winced but didn't let go, he twisted her arms and maneuvered her to the floor, then swiftly put her in a headlock and begins giving her a fierce noogie. "Noogie time!" He laughs. Kelly tries in vain to break his iron grip.

"Dammit John!" She screams and punches him in the ribs. He releases her and falls onto his back laughing.

"You think this is funny?!" She growls, putting him in a headlock instantly.

"Ah hey!" John yells in surprise.

"Rule number one, never drop your guard." She grits out, straining to keep John in the hold. She smirks and gives him his own medicine.

"Kelly!." He whines.

She stops momentarily, her body begins to shake with the laughter, and lets go of John.

The two share the laughter. Linda and Sam look at each other, then back to the display, snickering to themselves.

"So did you get the guy to talk?" Sam asks a few moments later after the laughter died down.

" Yes." John replies simply.

" How?" Linda asks.

"I have my ways." John says and walks out of the training room.

"Where are you going?" Kelly asks right behind him.'

"To the mess hall."

"Ok, we'll be in the barracks." she says and returns to the training room.

A/N: Thanks for reading. Constructive criticism is always welcome! Til next time!

Disclaimer: I don't own Halo, or Never Gonna Give You Up. [I forgot to put one of these up.]


	3. Chapter 3

Andy sat in the brig, his head in his hands. Why didn't he just shoot the damn crate? It didn't really matter anyways, here he sat, captured by the enemy. A few minutes pass, deep in thought about the man that captured him. Why didn't he kill him? He did act rather odd. Maybe the rumors are true, maybe they all were unstable, and killing machines. That doesn't explain why he was spared... well the unstable part might. Though why him, he has no useful information. They'd probably interrogate him then execute him once they got what they wanted; which isn't much.

Why did he even join the rebels? Now he's dead meat. Were they going to waterboard him? Or try even worse tactics? Minutes pass, deep in thought, he almost misses someone entering the room. Andy looks up at the ONI Agent, two guards follow behind him.

"Hello there rebel, I have a few questions for you." The man says and walks out of the room.

The guards dragging Andy to his feet and out the door. He looks at his captors, trying in vain to formulate a plan of escape. It's no use though. He's shaken from his thoughts as he is practically thrown in a metal chair.

" How are you?" The agent asks.

" F-fine...and you?" Andy whispers.

" Good considering the circumstances. I'm Agent Andersmit, and you are...?" Andersmit asks as he sits down.

" Andy." He barely whispers.

"What was that? I couldn't hear you, you're going to have to speak up."

" It's Andy." He says while looking in his lap.

" Okay Andy I have a few questions for you. What are the rebels planning?" Andersmit asks, staring in Andy's eyes, as if searching his soul.

" I-I-I don't know. I just joined so I could get a little money and send it back home. All they have me do is watch crates all day." Andy says in a panic.

" What are in the crates?"

" Uh...weapons."

"What kind of weapons?"

" I don't know."

"What kind of weapons?" Andersmit asks again, an edge in his voice, his face still a blank slate.

" Guns and armor piercing rounds, that's all I know I swear!" Andy cries out, his arms in front of him.

" When do the shipments arrive?"

" At 10:00 in the morning every Thursday. I don't know who the supplier is. The boss just keeps ordering and shipping out all these crates. He only stops by when there is a shipment, but when I was there, he came a day early and inspected the place. He also called all the officers in for a meeting. I don't know what about. I'm just the guys who guards boxes." Andy says in a rush, fidgeting in the chair under Andersmit's intense stare.

"Okay then, throw him back in the brig for now. I want the Chief to interrogate him later." Andersmit says as he stands up. He nods to the two men and walks out of the door.

Andy stares at the gray metal floor numbly. He doesn't even notice when he was practically thrown in the cell. What is this chief guy going to do to him? He's undoubtedly the interrogator/torturer. What about his family? How will his family get by without the extra money? His head throbs from all the thoughts and stress of the situation. He lays on the hard cot, using his arm as a pillow.

OoOoOoOOoOoOoOoOoOoOOoOoOoO

Hours later John arrives to talk to his prisoner "Jimmy" and see if he knows anything else. He had the small bag of snacks and two hot cups of coffee. John arrives at the brig, the guards there eyeing John and his goodies. One of them opens the door without a word; his name tag read Lewis.

The other one, Sampson, stares at John with a nasty smirk. " That for your boyfriend? Taking him on a date."

" I'd watch what you say to him." Lewis says to Sampson, shooting John an apologetic look.

Sampson rolls his eyes and mutters a string of curses under his breath.

John simply smiles and nods thanks to Lewis. Ignoring Sampson's remarks as he entered the cell.

" Jimmy, get up. " John says in a friendly manner.

Andy lifts his head and cracks his eyes open to see a very tall and muscular man looming over him holding two cups of steaming coffee and a plastic bag. Wait why did this man call him Jimmy? What's going on? He must have fallen asleep. Sighing he gets up seeing as he really had no choice.

John beams at Andy, then turns and leaves the room, looking back to see if he was following him, which he is.

John sets off to the interrogation room, Andy struggling to keep up due to John's long strides. A few minutes of silence later they arrive at their destination, John opens the door and lets Andy enter the room first. The door shuts behind them.

John sets down the coffee and bag, sliding a cup to Andy who is sitting across from him. He looks tentatively at the cup. John opens the bag and pulls out the box of donuts.

" So Jimmy, What are the rebels planning?" John asks as he takes a sip of the hot liquid.

" My name is Andy and I'm just a guard so I don't know or hear much." Andy says quietly while staring at the steaming coffee. That couldn't be the guy-spartan that knocked him out...could it?

" You mind if I play some music?" John asks as he takes out his small radio.

Andy shakes his head afraid to speak. What could he say? This guy could snap him in half effortlessly.

John turns the radio on, disco music pours from the speakers. Andy stares at John, the music is terrible! That's why disco only lasted about a decade. Why was he listening to 5 century old music anyways? Unstable?

" What's wrong?" John asks seeing Andy hasn't touched his coffee or donuts.

" Nothing?" He answers in a whisper.

" It's okay Andy, you're safe here."

" Yeah, then next thing I'm being executed. " Andy says solemnly, slumping down in his seat.

" well you'll get a trial and you could be offered prison time or joining the U.N.S.C., but that's if they don't sentence you to death." John explains with a mouthful of doughnut.

" Gee what great choices." Andy says and sighs.

" Your coffee is getting cold." John says.

Andy picks up the warm Styrofoam cup and takes a sip of the liquid. " Not bad. " He says while smacking his lips.

John sits his cup on the table and leans back in the metal chair. " When do shipments come in?"

" Every Thursday. "

" Who is your supplier?"

" I don't know, but there is a symbol of a snake and hawk. That's all I know..." Andy says and takes another sip of his drink.

" I'll put in a good word in for you Jimmy." John smiles and ruffles Andy's brown hair.

" Thanks...and it's Andy...like it matters anyway." Andy mumbles.

Agent Andersmit enters the room, eyes immediately spotting the coffee and untouched donuts. " Having a party?" He asks sternly, directing his intense gaze at John.

" I was interrogating the prisoner, sir." John says simply.

" Very well. Brief me when you're finished." Andersmit says and walks out of the room.

John and Andy share a look.

" Just cry a little and look upset so they'll believe that you told me everything. Now let's eat these donuts!" John says already opening the box.

" Okay maybe just one..." Andy picks up a glazed doughnut and dips it in his coffee.

Ten minutes pass by in silence as the two devour the box of doughy goodness.

John stands and licks his fingers. " Well Jimmy this is for your own good." He says as he walks around the table.

" Wha-" He begins to say when John slaps him hard across the cheek.

Andy sits there stunned from the force, his right cheek stinging. A very large red hand print already formed.

" So it's more believable." John offers.

" You didn't have to smack me THAT hard!" Andy hisses while cradling his face.

" Yes I did. I have to get you back to your cell now. Good luck with everything." John says before knocking him out.

OoOoOoOOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

John carried Andy to the brig. Lewis and Sampson still on duty. Great. John mentally grimaces.

" Have a little too much fun with your little boyfriend? He couldn't take it?" Sampson sneers.

" Sorry sir. The door is open." Lewis nods his head towards the open cell.

John sets Andy down on the cot and leaves the room.

" I thought you'd stay longer-"

" Shut the fuck up. That's an order." John growls, mere inches from Sampson's face. He turns around, headed towards ONI Agent Andersmit's office.

" For a moment there I thought he was going to kiss me." Sampson sneers.

" Just shut up!" Lewis says in exasperation.


	4. Chapter 4

John heard what Sampson said when he turned his back; making damn sure to put him on his shit list. Oh this guy is going to regret it. Well hopefully Jimmy or whatever he calls himself will only get prison time. What could he say to help out his little buddy? ONI Agents are always thirsty for intel and this kid didn't have any. He just joined the wrong side. He should be calling him his enemy, but this kid probably couldn't harm a fly.

What did Andersmit expect? Some huge juicy chunk of info?

Sighing John presses the buzzard to Andersmit's office " Permission to enter sir?"

" Permission granted. Come in John."

John enters the spacious room. Andersmit sitting at his desk with his feet propped on it.

" Have a seat." Andersmit says, gesturing towards the overstuffed leather chair.

John sat in the chair, marveling at the luxurious feel.

" Nice chair huh? Found it in an antique store back on Earth. I guess you want to get down to business. All you Spartans are so straight forward and ready to get to the point. Well what did you get out of him?" Andersmit says, staring intently at John, trying to read his stoic face.

" They get shipments every Thursday and he only guards the crates. Oh and he said something about a snake and hawk symbol on the crates. He joined to send home money to his family in a nearby colony. He's just a kid." John says in a monotone voice.

" Going a little soft? Heh heh, I'll see what I can. Since you're our best then I guess that's all he knows. Though why the coffee and donuts?"

" To make the prisoner more willing to talk. " John said matter of factly. Truth is he seen cops do this in a few century old movie he watched.

" Ah, I knew not to question your judgements. He'll either get prison time or join the U.N.S.C. that's all I can do for your little friend." Andersmit says in a light tone.

" Thank you sir." John says getting out of the chair. A chair shouldn't be that comfortable!

" Dismissed." Andersmit says and lights a cigar.

John leaves the room. 'Well so much Andersmit being intel thirsty.' John thinks with a smile. Now off to the canteen for some gummy worms!

OoOoOOoOooOoOOoOOooo

He arrives at the training room munching on sweet and colorful gummy worms.

"Hi John!" Linda smiles and waves.

" Hey Linda... want some?" John tilts his bag towards her.

" Heck yeah!" She shouts, beside John instantly.

" Hey buddy. " Sam clasps John on he shoulder. " Did you find anything out?"

" No. Just our next target might have something to do with snakes and hawks." John says before stuffing a handful of the candy in his mouth.

" John? What do you have there?" Kelly asks cautiously.

" Gummy worms." His reply coming out muffled.

" I see...Can I have some?" She asks holding her hand out.

John swallows " Sure Kelly. " He says and dumps half the bag in her hands.

" You didn't have to give me all of these. "

" It's cool. Sam?" John says, looking at Sam with a smirk.

" Why not?" Sam shrugs.

John takes a handful and shoves them in Sam's mouth causing he stumble back almost choking.

The three watch as he chews through the gummy goodness and finally swallows.

"Thanks John." Sam says mockingly.

" You're welcome!" He yells, beaming.


	5. Chapter 5

Loud music pours from the hallway and into nearby parts of the ship. John was already late, he jogs down the long corridor, looking over his shoulder for Kelly. She sure wasn't happy about him going, had one of a fight to get to Sam talked to her while he snuck away. Oh well Kelly doesn't know what fun is anyways.

John slows to a walk and enters the rec room towering over everyone. A majority of the marines paused for a moment then broke out in cheers.

" Yeah Spartan's here!" One of the marines that invited him shouts.

John smiles and nods, walking further into the crowded room, immeadiatly spotting the drinks in the back corner. He wades through the large crowd and picks up a brown bottle from the ice, a brief glance around told him that almost all of the attendees have one, he tries to twist the top off and the bottle breaks.

" That's okay man. " A marine says from behind John. He opens another bottle and hands it to John. He never had alcohol before and seen it had strange effects on people depending on the amount consumed.

" Try not to break that one. Okay?" He says laughing, watching John in amusement.

" Roger that." John says and takes a sip of the liquid and scrunches his face. The liquid is bitter and foamy as it slid over his tongue and down his throat. People like this stuff?

" Too strong for ya?" Asks another marine chuckling.

A small crowd of people form around John. He notices this so he tilts his head back and chugs the bitter foamy stuff. It wasn't so bad after all. He reaches for another and breaking the neck of the bottle off then pours the beer in his mouth; finishing it off quickly. Some stared at him in shock others slightly impressed.

" Nope."

Conversation swirling all around him, even a few recording the party; hopefully no one important sees it.

A few more drinks later, everyone is hopping to the beat of the electronic music. The room hot from all the bodyheat. Most of the marines were there, packed in the room like sardines. John towering over them. He takes off his tank top and throws it to a nearby couch. "Woo!" He shouts.

" Drinking contest!" Someone yells over the music. A few marines bring out bottles of vodka.

John takes one of the bottles and chugs down the bitter contents, upon finishing it off he smashes it on the floor. That was probably one of the worst things he's ever tasted!

" Yeah!" John yells and takes a lampshade off a nearby lamp and puts it on his head. He sways back and forth like everyone else.

" Holy shit! Spartan drank the whole damn bottle! " A guy yells, pointing at the broken glass on the floor.

" I can totally keep more than that down!" A young marine challenges, walking over to the guys with the vodka, and takes a bottle.

John watches the man try to chug down the liquid fire, he coughs and splutters, gasping he doubles over spilling some vodka in the process.

" Hey man you're spilling all the vodka! " Another marine said, he grabs the bottle away from the young guy and helps him stand.

John helps the two to one of the couches, well he pretty much carried both of them. About to leave them and return to the party he pauses, turns and takes the bottle from the sober man's hands. He stands on the table. Everyone looking at him, he quickly chugs the horrible stuff. Everyone cheers him on. Why the hell did they all drink this shit? John scans the room and almost all of the people there are drunk or tipsy and none of them had the amount he did. They'd all have alcohol poisoning. Ah fuck it! This is fun!

He jumps off the table and grabs a marine who is close by and holds him close in an awkward dance. The marine is pretty much being dragged around, though being drunk he went with it, and tries to dance.

John lets go after the song ends and stumbles to the middle of crowd, tripping over his pants in the process. He knew he had been "pants'd", goes with it by taking them off and throwing them at the men who did it. They were snickering the back of the room when the pants hit the one standing on the right in the face. The other two laugh harder. John high fives a random person as he steps into the very center, he plants his feet, one hand behind his head and stretched his other arm out moving it in short jerky sideways motions, slowly turning.

" Is he really doing 20th century dance moves?" Sam asks as he watches John dancing and the rest of the people on the floor trying to copy him.

" I like his hat!" Linda says smiling.

" uh...that's a lampshade." Sam says giving Linda a look.

" Cool!" She shouts.

" What the hell does he think he's doing?!" Kelly shouts, her fists balled by her sides.

" Dancing."

"Linda...nevermind." Sam says and shakes his head.

Kelly pushes her way through to John and grabs his forearm. He pulls her close, holding her arms so she couldn't punch him.

" Hi Kelly." He spins through the crowd towards the door and sets her down, then quickly retreats back into the room, locking it.

" Dammit John!" she screams and pounds on the door.

Linda wades through the crowd to John. " Hi John! Cool lampshade!" Linda chirps happily.

" welcome to the Lampshade crew!" John says crossing his arms over his chest and bobbing his head for a moment.

Sam rolls his eyes and walks out of the large crowded room.

John bends over with his arms bent at a ninety degree angle and moves them smoothly while slowly straightening back up. The few some what sober marines try to copy him and end up stumbling around awkwardly.

Linda finds a random marine and holds him close and begins twirling throughout the room.

"Heh hey!" The man tries to protest, but Linda's iron grip and spinning made escape almost impossible.

John gets tired of dancing and pulls out a marker from an unaware marine's pocket. He heads toward the marines passed out on the couch in the corner and pulls off the cap of the marker. Going for the lighter haired man he draws a mustache and tentacles all over the lower part of his face.

Smirking, he writes 'Chief's Bitch' on the black haired marine's forhead and runs out of the room laughing hard.

He ends up at the Spartan barracks and doubles over in laughter, waking Sam and Kelly.

"Where's Linda?" Sam asks while wiping the sleep from his eyes.

"At the party dancing around." John replies simply and yawns.

"I'll go get her." Sam sighs and rolls out of his bed. " Don't even start Kelly, we'll handle this in the morning." Sam says before leaving.

John climbs up into his bed on the top. He gets under the covers and lays on his side.

" G'night Kelly." He says happily and rolls over.

"Night John." Kelly growls and snatches the covers back over her body.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning John and the rest of Blue Team is up and ready for their next mission, which was assigned unexpectedly this morning. The marines had a harder time getting up since most had pretty bad hangovers from last night. After their briefing, they boarded a pelican and began their descent to the desert planet below. There had been high activity observed there, and possibly a clue to what the snake and hawk symbol is.

"Okay John, no funny shit this time." Kelly warns.

"Shit isn't funny." John says with a smirk.

"You know what I mean."

"I want pancaaakes." Linda whines.

"We can get pancakes after the mission." Sam says as he sighs.

"Okay..."

"So is there going to be a lot of dessert here? Since it's a desert planet." John asks playfully.

"Really John? It's a DESERT, not a DESSERT. You know the huge hot sandy place without any water." Kelly growls.

John lowers his head slowly in dissapointment.

"Don't worry John, after this mission we can get chocolatechip pancakes!" Linda chirps.

John instantly perks up. "Sure thing Linda!"

" We need to get focused on the mission. There is a factory somewhere and we need to find it." Kelly says.

" Landing in thirty seconds." The pilot announces.

" Great." sighs Sam.

" What are you guys doing?" Kelly asks, looking at John and Linda.

"Playing rock, paper, scissors. Wanna play?" Linda asks happily.

" We're about to land and you're playing games? Get your heads out of the clouds and focus!" Kelly snaps at the them.

John sticks his tongue out at her, however, she wouldn't see it since they are wearing their helmets.

"Landing in 3-2-1. Touchdown, have a nice stay, I'll pick you up later." The pilot says over the intercom as he opens the back hatch of the pelican.

The four spartans walk out of the pelican and take in their surroundings. Nothing but sand dunes as far as the eye can see.

"Stay sharp and-" Sam stops speaking abruptly and turns around to see John kinda of surfing down the dune they are standing on.

"Damn it John! Not even a minute in and you're fucking around!" Kelly yells over there com links.

"C'mon Kelly try it! Whoo!" John yells playfully.

"JOhn, this isn't the time to play around." Sam says sternly.

"AH!" Linda yelps as she tries to surf down following John.

"Great! Now Linda is being a fucktard too." Kelly sighs, putting her hand on her helmet.

Music pours over the com links.

" No wifing in the club, gimme twenty dollars, gimme twenty dollars, gimme twenty dollars~"

"Turn that shit off!" Kelly screams in the com. The music stops suddenly.

"Gimme twenty dollars?" John asks playfully, looking up at the two spartans from his position at the bottom of the dune.

"What do you need twenty dollars for?!" Kelly asks in exasperation.

"Gummy worms," John answers innocently. "Of the sour variety."

Kelly grumbles and sighs. "Only if you don't turn that back on."

"Okay!" John says happily and hops away.

Sam and Kelly turn to each other then make their way down.

"Okay, we need to stick together and stay focused." Sam says, looking at Linda and John.

John takes a finger and swipes it over where his mouth would be in a smile and turns on his cloaking.

"Okay, lets go." Kelly says leading the way in the vast expanse of desert.

John surfs down another particularly steep dune, sand flies everywhere. It looks as though sand is being spontaniously thrown about.

"There should be a factory around here, about thirteen kilometers north." Kelly whispers over the coms.

"Why are you whispering Kelly?" John asks as he jumps off the top of another dune.

"Because this is a stealth mission and you're going to give away our position." Kelly hisses.

John stops and crouches low, Linda lays prone on top of a dune, her cloaking device activated, she looks down the scope of her sniper rifle and spots a large object in the distance.

"Hey guys, I think I see something." She whispers.

" What is it?" Sam asks anxiously.

"It looks huge..."

"That's what she said!" John quickly adds and bursts out laughing. Kelly face palms.

"I don't know what it is. Though it could possibly be UNSC." She says as she zooms in further. " I don't see any activity."

John takes off running in the direction Linda pointed.

"What is he doing?!" Kelly screetches.

Sam winces from the sheer volume of her voice.

"Investigating." John answers simply, not even sounding the slighest out of breath as he sprints towards the object.

"John." Kelly warns.

"Kelly." He chirps.

She shakes her head and continues forward, seething.

"Cover me." John says as he charges off.

"Don't worry, I've got that tight ass covered John." Linda says as she scans the area through the scope of her sniper.

"Linda!" Sam says in a 'what the fuck' voice.

"What?" She asks innocently.

"Nothing..." Sighs Sam as he zooms in to try to get a visual of the apparently large object in the distance.

After a few minutes John breaks the silence. " I made it!"

"Great, what is it?" asks Kelly immeadiately.

"I don't know. But it's really big. Maybe a vehicle since it has really big tracks." He says inbetween pants, doubling over with his hands on his knees.

"We'll be there in a few minutes." Sam says as he leads the way up another dune.

"Roger dodger." John walks around the massive thing, staring at it. The tracks were on top which didn't seem right. Why would someone leave it in the middle of nowhere? And most importantly, why the hell is it upside down?!

The rest of the team arrives, breaking John out of his thoughts.

"What is that thing?" Linda asks in awe as she takes in the sheer size of it.

"We could blow up so much shit..." Kelly whispers to herself.

"He guys, I think it's upside down." Sam says almost hesitantly.

"How are we going to flip over?" Linda asks, as she tilts her head to the side.

"Like this." John crouches down, grabbing onto edge and with all his strength, flips it.

"...wait, what? How did you do that?" Sam says, flipping the fuck out.

"Cooooool." Linda stares at the massive vehicle.

Kelly making a beeline to the M41 LAAG in excitement.

John also disappears into the vehicle, and a few moments later the engine comes to life.

Sam continues to stare trying to figure out how John managed to flip the colossal thing. "What even?"

"Uh guys? We should probably let Captain Hawthorne know about this..." Linda suggests hesitantly.

"It's clearly one of ours." says Kelly as she inspects the gun.

John starts driving away at the thrilling top speed of five miles per hour. " Buckle up everyone."

Linda and Sam hop on and walk to the top level where John is.

"Where are we going?"

"Where these guys were headed." He points to a body and a holomap.

"We don't even know what or why they were going there." Kelly says as she walks in.

"Well we're gonna find out then aren't we."

"Fuck yeah, adventure!" Linda fist pumps and yells.


End file.
